Here is a video that articulates some of what I have been trying to say, especially in regards to the Churches of Christ. It’s all about love!
Oh, and by the way, as much as they deny it, the Churches of Christ are a denomination.
Just lol.
Many things have happened as of late. Rachel might be getting a job at Mr. Hero. Laura’s last day of school was today. Deb is leaving for Polaris.
Last night was the “follow-up” to that list I created. Some answers were inadequate for me; others were quite excellent. At any rate, I am going on my own personal journey, so it’s wrong for me to impose my own Christian journey onto others. If others can find Jesus in the Churches of Christ, then by all means, go to them. I personally couldn’t, so I left. They’re good Christian men and I know that I’m a Christian; and as a Christian, I believe that Jesus is the revelation of God, not some book.
There’s really not that much about which to update, otherwise. I hung out with Laura last night; we went to that new restaurant Five Guys afterwards went to Chick-Fil-A for milkshakes. LOL we took our milkshakes into Target and sat in the lawn chairs and drank them and chatted. This mother and daughter yelled at us for staring at them. Oh well!
Tonight Laura and I went to a performance thing of sorts (gee, can’t get much more vague than that) at school tonight. Some music was lovely and made me to become introspective, which I despise. Afterwards we went to get more ice cream. Lol at our obsession with ice cream.
I just read Seung-Hui Cho’s “Richard McBeef.” While insight into the mind of someone who is mentally unbalanced is interesting, this play is absolutely terrible. There is great potential, but this is because hatred is obviously the motivating factor in writing this. The character of the mother is ridiculous and abnormal; she is an example of when a minor character detracts from the main characters, which in this case are John and Richard McBeef. Maybe Richard could have gone out to his car to cool off after the fight instead of being chased out by the mother wielding a chainsaw.
The language of the characters helps establish them, so their dialog is fundamental; the conversation in this work is juvenile. I can understand John’s speech seeing as how he’s thirteen years old, but how Richard and the mother speak is outrageous. They’re adults, even if uneducated ones.
Another problem I had with it is the mother’s change of heart so quickly; she married Richard within a month after the death of John’s father (I’m assuming they were still married, at least), and then, instead of being rational, she believes her son when he claims that Richard tried to molest him. The character of the mother is pathetic.
It could be expanded upon and be an interesting read on hatred as it motivates people.
Update 5/14- I re-read the play, and I can see how this could be considered a work of humor; if it was written humorously, then I agree that this is funny! Unfortunately, I cannot tell if it is supposed to be serious or humorous. Knowing which was meant would deeply affect my review of it. Read it for yourself and see what you think.
And welcome to Ordinary Season, everybody! This is going to be a most interesting Ordinary Season; so much is going to happen that I don’t know if I can handle it.
In an entirely unrelated topic, the reason I love my cats is because they judge me for who I am, not for what I say or my appearance. Of course, they don’t know the innards of my person, but then again I’m not entirely sure that I do either.
Laura and I went to the 4:30 PM Vigil last night which was the first Saturday Mass I’ve been to in a long time. The cantor was that guy who sings with the “contemporary ensemble” and I like him. They sang one of my favorite hymns, “Holy God we Praise Thy Name.” I wore my sweatshirt over my tux because I didn’t want to stand out, lol. Fr. Rod noted my tux and asked (while we were leaving), “Going to prom?” I love Fr. Rod.
Pictures abounded when I arrived at Barbara’s house. One of the things that happened though is that I made some jokes to lighten the mood and some strange adult man that I’ve never seen before laughed and repeated them. I hate that! I always say to myself, “Uhm…yeah I JUST said that. Please don’t repeat it.” I guess it’s akin to when I tell Laura, “I’m not blind,” when she points out something obvious.
Prom was interesting and boring. It’s not all it’s hyped up to be. Kana was very pretty; her dress and hair were beauteous. Barbara was outstanding!
Prom: basically I just drank, didn’t dance, and was emo with Laura at the afterprom. I’m still upset with Laura for not going to her own prom; I could tell her mother was upset. Maybe next year I can convince Laura to go with me to my prom. I’d enjoy that greatly.
O my readers, do you remember Byzansteve? That Byzantine Rite Catholic I’ve mentioned before twice? He brought his “girlfriend” and she’s Greek Orthodox w00t! It was so much fun meeting Sonya! She and I talked about the Papendraes’ (spelling) and how we both love them; we invoked Kathy’s name and Sonia described her to a T; we talked about (my memory is failing me now) cats and dogs.
Then Laura took me home after everything was done. Laura is one of the few people who does understand me; I hope that one day she and I never cease our friendship.
Tonight is prom and I’m going with Kana T. (a foreign exchange student from Japan) and tomorrow is Pentecost, so I’m calling this weekend, “The Celebration of Promecost,” because I’m idiotic like that.
And, if anyone cares, this is my 100th post! Woot! Well, I think about 3 posts are by Hitchi (Lurra), but nonetheless this is the 100th post on my blog. By the way, to dispel any confusion, Hitchi = Laura = Lurra. I never call Laura Hitchi because it is ignorant in my opinion, but she seems to like that name. I call her Lurra only because it fits the rules of ebonics.
I’m starting to realize how this blog offers little to no insight to my feelings or thoughts; no, to get this, one must either go to my livejournal (which I refuse to give to anyone) or they must see my letters and e-mails to Laura.
Last night I listened to an “internet Church of Christ radio show” thing and I sent them some e-mails; normally I wouldn’t do anything like that, but these sounded like intelligent men. They had a top 10 list of things people “hate” about the Bible; I sent in an e-mail stating how (I think) they are legalizing the New Testament thus distorting its purpose.
Then my next e-mail was my own version of this top-whatever list. I wrote it in a hurry, but it’s (fairly) decent. They invited me to call them, but I’m not. I’ll just leave them alone now. I realized this thing was getting out of control when they invited me to call them. I was just stating that love is important and that none of us have enough of it, but now they want to make an entire show off of my list! My word! I just wanted to add to the discussion, not dominate it in any way. This has really become more an argument of “who’s right?” which divides as opposed to uniting us in Christian love.
At any rate, here is the top sixteen list of things (I think) the Church of Christ “hates” about the Bible-
1) Jesus never told us to follow a book or collection of books
2) That loving is better than religious obligation (Mark 12:33)
3) That the New Testament never claims to be perfect
4) That Jesus ate with prostitutes
5) That the Paul included his personal opinion in supposed “Scripture” (1 Cor 7:12)
6) That the New Testament never claims that people are currently burning in hell
7) That the New Testament quotes pagans (Acts 17:28; 1 Corinthians 15:33, 2 Peter 2:22)
8 ) That the book of Jude quotes the Assumption of Moses and the Book of Enoch (not scripture)
9) That the New Testament never “teaches” congregationalism
10) That the New Testament never gives a list of canon of what should be contained in the New Testament
11) That Jesus supposedly quotes something that isn’t in Scripture (John 7:38).
12) That baptizing the “household” of someone would include babies (1 Cor 1:16)
13) 1 Corinthians 3:10-15 teaches that even supposed heretics (like Martin Luther) are going to be saved
14) That sola scriptura is NOT Taught in the New Testament
15) That Peter said some things written by Paul are hard to understand (2 Peter 15-16)
16) That Paul had an out-of-body experience (2 Cor 12:1-6)
Easter Vigil March 22, 2008 I proclaimed, “I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God,” and that still is true today. I adhere to the Nicene Creed as my profession of faith.
I have little idea why people are making me out to be a heretic of sorts. I simply cannot see it.
Yes, I read and laud the works of Borg and Spong and Crossan; the work of these scholars is helping us to further our religion. Yes, I am (somewhat) theologically liberal. But I am now and will always remain a Roman Catholic Christian. I do not see any reason why I should leave the Church.
Just because I’m not against women’s ordination doesn’t mean I actively support it. I don’t go to Mass wearing rainbow sashes. I’m perfectly content with the consistency of the Catholic teachings on sexuality. Just because I try to understand Jesus Christ as both a historical and divine figure doesn’t mean I’m ready to tear down the walls of the faith and start anew.
You know, people have been claiming that I’ve been going through “violent changes” and I haven’t been doing enough to deny it. I’ve always been theologically liberal! I come from Anglicanism! I’ve always struggled with doubts. Everyone seems to think that I left Anglicanism because they became “too liberal,” but this is utter nonsense. I’m not like other ex-Protestants who come “home to Rome” because their old denomination had “strayed too far away from historic Christianity” (or anything to that effect). I came over because I have been convinced and I believe (for whatever reason) that the Roman Catholic Church is the original Church starting with Peter as the first Pope.
So I will say it again for people who think I’m denying it. I, Erik, believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God. There.
What have I said that is contrary to what the Church teaches? That the Bible was written by inspired men but also contains mythological elements (such as the Creation story)? That some aspects of the Church have pagan roots? That I care to receive Jesus under both forms at Communion?
Does anyone honestly believe that I would go through six months of RCIA if I didn’t believe it? That I would put myself under unnecessary familial scorn? Why would I go through with something if I didn’t believe in it and it was causing me stress at home? I believe in the Church so much that I just couldn’t wait any longer to be received into it.
But that doesn’t mean I shed all of my previously held convictions and doubts. I am growing and developing as a person, just like all the other ex-Campbellite folks who eventually left the church of their youth.
And you know, I don’t care what these people from the internet think about me, but when they post statements on the internet calling me heretical or saying that I was being deceptive throughout my RCIA journey, that’s libel and I’m tired of it.
Odd thing is- no one has even told me anything that I said which is heretical. Simply because I’m suggesting that people read books by authors with which they don’t necessarily agree I’m suddenly deemed a heretic. Even through my periods of doubt and disbelief, I still leave that image up that reads, “Proudly entered the Catholic Church in 2008.”
Another thing that gets me mad is that people keep lambasting my intelligence as if I have said, “Ok, I know that I’m smarter than all of you so just listen to what I have to say.” I never have claimed to been of higher intelligence than anyone; in fact, the opposite is true. I recall saying to someone at that Catholic board (I think Stephanie, but I’m not sure), “Now you’re forgetting that I’m a teenager which means that I know everything.” I openly profess that I don’t know everything, or hell even anything! I’m not a scholar! For people to attack what little intelligence I do have is insulting indeed!
One reason why I left Anglicanism was because of all the bickering. Seems as if I can’t escape it.
In conclusion (if there can even be one), you may disagree with me and that’s all good and well, but do not say that I am not a Catholic, or even worse, not a Christian. I am a Christian and will identify myself as one for the time being.
There, now I am officially finished with it.
There is a difference, I think, between a god who loves and a God who is love (1 John 4:16). The Greek verb used in 1 John 4:16 is “estin” and I’ve been told once that it means, “is and continues to be.” Isn’t that beautiful? God is and continues to be love. This is in stark contrast to the pagan gods who had the ability to love, but likewise to hate, as humans do.
Oh well.
As per usual, I went to the 5:30pm youth mass this sunday unaccompanied by Erik since he had to work. I really wish that he had been there, though, since I needed support, and my brother never offers any. I got there a minute late, and we sat in the same row as my friend Joe, but I don’t think he saw us. I also saw the Hanwells across the aisle, which was so apropos since it was the Ascension of Our Lord. Cass and Spencer were servers (two of my favourites), along with Joe Conway and some other boy I didn’t know. The weird thing was that Bob Burian himself was the kantor! At first I doubted it, but he was the only male up there except Dan—who was playing guitar, as always—and that boy who sometimes play drums. His voice doesn’t sound like it belongs to him at all, and I don’t really like it.
When I got to church and sat down, I started crying because I had been emotional and frustrated all day, and I had been in a fight with my mother before leaving on account of her hypocrisy and supposed moral superiority.
I was an EM again, but Dcn. McKenna was officiating it, but I don’t like it when he does because he is SO controlling, almost condescending. He expected us to know where to go, even though the priests always tell us when they hand us the cibora. Then, during Most Holy Communion, he was bustling around the church to check up on everything. At one point, he told us to start breaking the hosts in half to make sure we had enough for everyone. I didn’t start doing it right away because I found it sort of distressing, especially at the snap snap snap sound it made. Plus, even if people don’t deserve a whole host, they said the word so that they could be healed, so they should get it. I always hated getting a half-host. Plus, sometimes it didn’t separate when I snapped it, so a few people got merely a broken host. During Communion, they played “On Eagles’ Wings” coupled with “You Raise Me Up,” the latter being a song that is even popular in the secular world. (Now I wonder if its origin is religious or not.) It was more of a medley than my favourite versus, but it was beautiful nonetheless, so I wish I had been able to sing it.
At “dismissal,” or closing announcements or whatever, Fr. Lanning mentioned that the two lectors were siblings, and that Spencer and Cass were as well. Then, he added, “Spencer had the lead in the school play, Bye Bye Birdie,” and I started to cry again. Then, the closing song was “I Know that My Redeemer Lives” (not to be confused with “I Know that My Redeemer Liveth”), which I found to be so spiritually moving under the circumstances, so I cried more. I didn’t go to YOSA because I had homework and other stuff to do, and my brother didn’t go because his friend John wasn’t there. I had parked next to Joe because it was the first available spot, and so I saw him and his father on the way out. He was really surprised that I wasn’t going to YOSA, so I told him that I had work to do. His father said, “I wish I could get him to do some work,” and that made me cry even harder.
I really need to catch up on My Little White Book, but I’m about two weeks behind. I’m also going to be carrying my papal rosary tomorrow while I’m taking the AP Spanish test.
Why is it that every time I say something that seems to not go along with Roman Catholic doctrine that everyone blames my RCIA training? I’ve learned the fundamentals in RCIA; I’ve read books on Catholicism; hell, I’ve even started to read the Catechism. Whenever I say something that you think isn’t aligned with Roman Catholicism, please don’t claim it’s because of a lack of training. Stephanie and jdavidb have both said this within the past 24 hours.
Why is it that I cannot be my own person with my own ideas? Simply because I am now Catholic doesn’t mean that I in anyway have relinquished my intellect. And I also don’t want people to think that I am contradicting Catholic doctrine.
And now regarding this Catholic board; because I never alert people to, “Hey everyone my best friend died so now I’m going through personal doubts!” or “I’m reading books by Marcus Borg!” or “I’m currently struggling with understanding God as some sort of being who sits above the sky sitting on a throne. Anyone want to help?” they seem to think that I go through violent changes very rapidly (so rapidly that they perceive it to be inauthentic). These people, as much as they are my brothers and sisters, are not the ones in which I confide. They don’t know me at all, so for them to make such pronouncements (such as that I simply “regurgitate what I read”) is outrageous (sans the rage). The only people who really knows my struggles are my best friends Laura and Deb. Just because I pop in every now and then onto the board at different stages in my life doesn’t mean that I change so rapidly that it doesn’t really mean anything. These people are forgetting where I come from- I came from Anglicanism, not directly from the Campbellite church. I came as a liberal Protestant, and simply because I haven’t always been forthright with my liberalism doesn’t mean that it is something I have just happened across. I’ve always been a liberal (actually I’m more moderate and I even used to label myself as conservative because I’m fairly conservative as opposed to other liberals) and I have always read the works of “liberal” Anglican theologians such as Borg and Spong (cool names, huh?). All my brothers and sisters at the Catholic board seem to do is to insult the little intelligence I do have by saying, “Oh, I thought you were smarter than that 
” It’s not about intelligence! I’m not trying to come across as smarter-than-thou. If anything, I am proclaiming my ignorance as I try to grow and evolve as a Christian. I’m sick of people trying to tell me what I am trying to come across as or telling me my real motives. I regret that I say anything about my personal life to anyone other than Laura (and Deb to a lesser extent). For the time being, I’m going to leave them alone. I’m sorry for having bothered them and I hope there is no animosity between me and anyone else there.
My word! Life is a ball, isn’t it?
At any rate, my brother came home today from Iraq and is now at the house. What joy.
We went to a Church of Christ.
This morning I woke up, as per usual. Today is Ascension Sunday! Woot! I walked to the 9 AM Mass which was abnormal to me. I couldn’t focus today at all so I didn’t enjoy my walk to Mass as I normally do. I barely remember it. At any rate, I got in there and I chose a pew that was almost entirely empty except for one bunbury sitting on the far left. I could barely do my prayer before the Mass to help concentrate my mind because I was too unfocused. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things as of late.
At any rate, I do not like the 9 AM Mass as well as the 11. I am trying not to be too negative, but I don’t like the cantor at the 9 AM Mass. He’s not bad by any means, I just don’t like him. I like my Heidi & George combo. They sang my favorite hymn at Mass today; let’s see if any faithful readers know which one that is. I get upset that the Catholic Church doesn’t place more emphasis on receiving the blood at Communion. I always fear that I’ll never get some. It wasn’t a bad Mass at all. I think that I’ll actually go next week to both the 9 AM and the 11 AM.
Then Laura came and picked me up. I had to give her money so she could get gas. I had to call my friend Ashley to find out the directions. We were going to a Church of Christ.
GASP! Yes, it’s true! We actually went!
We went to one in Elyria, which is kind of country. Laura had to park in gravel. This was bringing back so many memories.
When we walked in, Laura noted, “I feel like this isn’t even a church, lol”
When we got in, we were greeted by some greeter and we took our seats. Lurra and I like the Jesus & Me worship as opposed to everyone knowing each other, so we had waited in the car for a bit before coming inside. They started with the same tired songs that I remember from my youth such as “Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus,” but it felt different than before. It wasn’t as dry as I remember it; in fact, I was almost convinced that I had misread the Churches of Christ. But then I started to think about it. The sermon and the songs that were read- everything spoke of trying to imitate Christ and making ourselves holy. It just doesn’t work like that. I didn’t hear one word about grace. I could smell the Pelagianism. While I now can appreciate lay worship, it was too Pelagian for me. I couldn’t stand it. It was all about trying to perfect ourselves; God became a Grand Being sitting up in heaven entirely disconnected from us. There was no understanding of God being presently with us. Everything is an empty symbol.
Going back after not having been since I can’t remember when, I can see why Catholics fall in love with it. They go into it with their understanding that God is always with us, not knowing what the Churches of Christ actually teach; they go in with the complaints of an established priesthood and hierarchy; they go in with ignorance regarding the Eucharistic feast. They become entranced by the way people there love their Bibles. I now know why Catholics leave the Church and become Restorationists.
Other than this very upsetting theology that was woven throughout the entire service, the service bored me to tears. I didn’t sing, even though I knew almost all the songs. I only sang part of one to try and keep me awake. Before it began, I think Lurra was under the impression that we could just share a hymnal. WRONG, lol. They sang no less than 10 songs and I’m not kidding. WAY more than I remember.
The Church of Christ we attended was non-institutional. Before the service, Laura asked what was behind the curtain and I told her the baptistery. Afterwards, Laura said, “I thought of something funny. ‘The tapestry was in front of the baptistery.’” Lol I love Laura so much. I don’t think she understands just how true that statement is on so many levels. I shall miss her next year greatly.
Communion came and it quickly became awkward. We, as Catholics, aren’t supposed to receive communion anywhere else; I, as an ex-Campbellite, refuse to receive communion at one of their churches. They kept trying to give us their communion, but I had to shake my head. I’m know that everyone behind us saw us refuse communion, but we weren’t trying to make a show out of it.
A note about the Bibles is needed. Everyone here brought their own Bibles, so there were no Bibles in the pews as is usual for Churches of Christ. They had Bibles of different natures at the ends of the rows; they probably just buy them at thrift stores or other bookstores when they see them and put them at the end of the pews. I picked up the Bible next to me and thumbed though it and I saw that it contained the book of 2 Maccabees, but I just told myself, “Well, some KJVs have the apocrypha in them. No big deal.” But during the sermon, when I reached over to get this Bible, I turned it to 1 Corinthians 11 and GASP OH MY WORD! Why did this Bible contain a subheader above verse 23 that reads “Institution of the Eucharist”? Then I flipped through the back, it had a list of all the major Catholic feast days and Holy Days of Obligation. I flipped to the front and I noticed an imprimatur by a Bishop of New York. What?! Out of all the places we could have sat, Lurra and I sat down in the pew where someone accidentally bought a Catholic Bible! Of course, they probably bought this without knowing that it was the Douay-Rheims version. They probably just opened it and said, “Yep it says ‘thee’ and ‘thou’ and has a black cover- it must be a KJV!” YAY for divine providence!! That was especially exciting.
It let out fairly early because the normal preacher was out at a gospel meeting; the guest preacher today was, what I assumed to be, an elder. He led songs during his sermon, so I’m sure that he is also a song leader. His song book was also a soft cover version, so I am doubly sure that he is a regular song leader.
When it was all over, Lurra and I tried to run out of there as fast as possible, but at least four people started talking to us. I assume they did this because they saw that we didn’t take communion so they thought to themselves, “Non Christians? Gotta do sum convertin’!” We got out of there safely, however.
As we were leaving, Laura said, “I wish that one day I could leave a Protestant church without someone trying to convert me.” This, I say, is a refreshing change between the Catholic parishes and the Protestant churches. Protestant churches are more like family because there are less of them; whenever they try to talk to visitors, it is awkward. Imagine going to a family dinner to a family you have never met before. I just want to be left alone, lol.
There was a bunbury at this church, by the way. Odd.
After it was all said and done, Laura and I went to Panera. I was emo because going to the Church of Christ brought back so many (bad) memories. At least my hair looked good.
Then I went to work and I came home.
But something else of note needs to be mentioned. On the Catholic board, I wrote something of which I am proud. Everyone else seems to disagree with it, and I can see why. I am a liberal Catholic Christian. Everyone else tends to be moderate or conservative. As long as they don’t claim that I am not a Catholic (or even worse, not a Christian), I’m fine with the disagreements. I still have a lot of learning to do. At any rate, these paragraphs would make even Kathy proud. I could expound on them more, but I’m not. They’re taken out of context, but you can understand them anyway.
My understanding of the Old Testament that that it is simply the writings of a tribal people trying to make sense of their world. At least, this is true for the first part (especially of the origin of the world, Abraham, the exodus, conquering of Canaan, the period of Judges, and the period of the kingdom). God doesn’t change, that much is true; but our understanding of God definitely changes. You will notice that as time goes on, God seems to be playing less and less of a part with the “chosen people” going from God actively helping the Israelites conquer Canaan (but not completely because some of the enemies used iron =/) to God simply appointing kings and, while still the perception is that God is there helping the kings, there is a definite change insofar that there is more independence. This lessing influence of “God” upon the people of the Jews continues even until the Prophets when God became articulated by people who have experienced the mystery (which is a burden, as Jeremiah tells us) of God. Afterwards there is a period of grand silence when God decided to refrain from intervening only to come back in Jesus.
Reading the Bible becomes so much easier (in my opinion) when one stops reading it as if it were some sort of supernatural Holy Writ and starts viewing it as an evolution of a humanity trying to understand what God is and the role of God in relation to humanity. Trying to hold onto these stages of evolution by quoting “Scripture” and using it as a guide for living life is like trying to remain a homo habilis. The Bible helps us to understand God, not because God gave it to us directly, but because it is a chronicling of the human understanding of God and it contains insights by those who have experienced the mystery. These insights help guide us as we try to live them (loving mercy, tending to those forsaken, etc), not as we try to dogmatize them. Trying to “prove” the Bible as the literal, impeccable word of God is worthless. Our understanding of Creation is that God spoke everything into existence, so in that sense everything existing is the “word” of God.
God has revealed Himself (Herself/Itself. No pronoun is worthy of the glory of God) by much more than a book. Everything within reality was caused by God. To me, saying that God revealed Himself to us via the Bible is nonsense and a throwback to our days as pagans. Maybe to a henotheist like Abraham, God would need to reveal Himself to try and show him which way was acceptable to God in a world where thousands of deities (or at least the understanding of deities) existed. To monotheists, there would be no need for the One God to reveal Himself since (supposedly) the entirety of everything speaks to His glory.
So, while the Bible can lead us to God, I am almost certain myself that it is not of divine origin. Legalizing the Bible to such an extent that the need is felt to somehow “prove” its authenticity (as opposed to other “uninspired scriptures”, no doubt) distorts its purpose and ruins its ability to help us experience God.
Pax b 2 j00! Remember- the Mass never ends.
I went with my friend Ashley, and we started chatting with the barber who is very knowledgeable. He used to be a Social Studies teacher of sorts. At any rate, he told us how he used to be Episcopalian and how he went through RCIA at Saint Angela’s back in the 80’s. It was funny because Ashley referred to RCIA as “big-kid PSR.”
